Finding ways to save a bit and still have fun...and yoga!

I have blogged about living on a budget before. I urge everyone to start a budget and see what you make, what you spend, and how you can realistically save and still have fun in life.

We have tightened our belts and saved over the past year so that we have been able to start a retirement fund. We have budgeted monthly monies for entertainment purposes and have stuck to it. When there is no fun money we stay home for fun. When the gas fund is low, there are no trips other than work, doctors, and therapists. And when the grocery fund is getting slim, no snacks get bought, just milk, meat, and the necessities. It has been a hard lesson, but I wish we had done this years ago.Imagine what we could have saved.

And we are not suffering. The children go on field trips, have new clothes, never lack for necessities. As for luxuries, we didn't go on vacation as a family so we could pay off our debts, but my daughter went to the beach with her cousin, my son went to camp and Hershey Park, and we all went to a family camping trip for 8 days. We also hosted an exchange student in August and were invited to tag along on day trips to Ocean City, Hershey Park, New York, DC, etc.for free.

I have gotten creative too about savings. It is sort of exciting too! It is like a game sometimes. I look online and figure my weekly menu based on what is on sale and what we have in the house. Plus I compare which of the two stores I love have the best prices on what we need and what extra coupons I can find for stuff.
I make my own laundry soap and home cleaners that work just as well as name brands and cost pennies!!!! And with that extra money saved,  I reward myself with a month trip to the Korean Spa and Bathhouse that is near us. A day of relaxing and self pampering that I dearly need for my soul. We invite friends in for game nights and dinner instead of going out to expensive restaurants. We even invite families over for family sleep overs. That is WAY FUN!
Another creative  way to save money is on movies. It is EXPENSIVE to take three kids to the movies, even when I hypothetically might possibly take my own candy and soda into the theatre LOL. So we order our movies from the library for FREE and maybe we might not see them as soon as they come out, but we can watch them in the comfort of our home and we can pause them when we need to pee. hehehehe
We also take advantage of the rec center in our county for inexpensive classes that allow the kids to try our things they have interest in.

It is all about balance...the balance of earnings, savings, and spending. It is always a challenge, but I am up to the challenge. And along the way, I try and turn it into a game so we all have fun!

Oh and by the way...my oldest and I are going to try some yoga classes...have always wanted to, was always chicken because I am not that slim silhouette that you see in yoga ads, but you know what, SO WHAT? I am a goddess and my body is my temple and dammit...lets go see what this yoga is all about. Plus I love yoga clothes hehehehehehe

Into the Garden We Go!

I am a woman with vision! I envision growning enough organic, healthy fruits and veggies to feed my family all year through. I envision working the soil, made black from my composted soil added in, full of nutrients and goodness that will work it's way into our food. I envision canning so as to enjoy our harvest when the snows set in. I envision color, smells, sights to tantalize the eye and enamour the soul. But right now, this is the sight that greets me:

 Snow, snow, and more snow. But that is ok, because as Mother Earth hibernates beneath her blanket of snow, so do I hibernate beneath my down comforter while writing this. And I plan! But I also am realistic. I am a chaos gardener. I will plan my plots with precision, gather my seeds and seedlings with care and knowledge. Plant and mulch the little darlings so they get their best start....and then go inside once it is too hot to stay out and hope for the best. I will return in August and see what there is to harvest and if it is enough, maybe do a bit of canning, but mostly we just eat it as it comes and then say "Ah well...NEXT YEAR!" LOL
So begins the planning of the 2014 Gregor Gardens!

Just this morning, over a breakfast of hot miso soup chock full of firm tofu, and apples with peanut butter(yes that is really what we had...I know, we are a weird bunch)...we started gazing dreamy eyed through the seed catalog. We looked at all the flowers and fruits and veggies and began debating what we wanted, what we could have in our zone, and what we realistically would be willing to do. These things don't EVER mesh when we start our yearly garden ventures. For example, my father in law wanted a pear tree that would produce 5 different pears all on the same tree but we don't have a spot and my husband is allergic to bees (I could just picture the ground littered with rotting pears and drones of bees). My son wanted pomegranates (not the right zone) and my daughter suggested doing a few items that needed careful attention (not our style LOL). But what we did agree on was strawberries, raspberries, and a potted blueberry bush as well as cucumbers, a ton of tomatoes, herbs galore, and maybe some peppers, zucchini, and yellow squash. Onions would be nice, as would edible flowers like geranium, nasturtium, and violets. I envision vegetables and flowers sewn together in a beautiful weed free garden of love.
But we will see.

Last year we put in bleeding hearts, more day lilies, moved a lilac tree and a bunch of lilies that I don't know the name of of, split the hostas and added more perennials in beds that previously had annuals so as to limit the amount of work I need to do so I can enjoy the yard more with the kids and yard work less.

And I have acquired a few baskets that I am going to put out on the steps with potted herbs in them. I got the baskets for free and am going to spray them with water repellent so they last a few seasons and not get too moldy in the rain. I also plan on finding some whimsical wind chimes to add to my collection and hang from the front porch roof. 

All in all the Gardens should be gorgeous and full of life. We are even going to order Mason Bees. These non-stinging bees are great pollinators and easy to house. They lay their eggs in small tubular "rooms" of the bee house. If you want information on them , this is a great website about Mason Bees. http://www.parentmap.com/article/keeping-mason-bees-10-expert-tips-for-families

But until the winds blow the warm spring air our way, I will snuggle under my blanket and  plot and plan and dream.

The Red Tent

There is a certain book, by author Anita Diamant, called The Red Tent. In it, she creates for us the image of a place where women gather during their monthly cycles. Women in a family, women of ancient times, all gathering to rest and tell stories and commune together as women. She weaves a dream place for us that we hunger for at our core...or at least the women I know who have read this book do and I share this hunger.

In an age where distance and busy schedules keep us apart from family and friends, this concept of a Red Tent, somewhere we can go, that we KNOW we will be going to reconnect with friends, seems vitally important to me and my well being.
This concept is so vital, it has given life to a spiritual movement called the Red Tent Temple movement. Red Tents are springing up all over the world. Women meeting at the New Moon to talk and rest and cry and love and share joys and sorrows, and ....just be women, connected.
Red tents can be elaborate and filled with many many women or quite simple...I have shared red tent space while pregnant with a equally pregnant friend, on the couch, under a red blanket. We got together every Monday evening while our husbands sang on a Native American Drum and we just complained about our aches and glowed about the babies inside us moving. It was our time, in our Red Tent Space.

The important part of Red Tent is just connecting with other women.

So why am I blogging about this today? Well, I have once again started feeling disconnected from women in my life. Sure I see friends at work and on Facebook, but that is not the same, not at all. So a month ago, the same friend that shared Red Blanket Space with me told me about a spa nearby and invited me to join her, her husband, and a few others to celebrate her birthday. At the spa, we sat in various poultice rooms (a salt room, a clay room, a jeweled room, an ice room, a charcoal room) together, we sat in hot bathes together, we sat in moist saunas together. We talked about our children and homeschooling and Waldorf school and public school. We talked about the winter and how more snow was coming. We RECONNECTED! We shared a meal together, we napped together.....it was a wonderful RED TENT type of day.

This month, my husband and I and a friend decided to spend a day together at the spa....and this time I treated myself to a full body scrub and massage while there....it was HEAVENLY! Then surprise, my friend who told me about the spa in the first place showed up with her husband and a mutual female friend. We talked and laughed and again...it was a RED TENT type of day, just being, without the hustle and bustle of daily life....no time tables to keep, no one to do for, just BEING.

So I think I have found my Red Tent. I think I will suggest that we women friends get together at the new moon at the spa, to just sit and talk, share a meal, and just BE. The walls may not be red, but for us, it will be a sacred gathering just the same. A gathering of women, a gathering of sisters. Welcome to the Red Tent.

The Balance of it All

Everything is about balance in life....to be healthy you should eat a balanced diet. To be a good member of society,  you must balance taking care of yourself first and not becoming self obsessed. To be a good parent you must balance taking care of the kids and taking care of yourself....even homeschooling is a fine balance, for me. It is the struggle between doing too much outside stuff and staying home and taking care of business, and of course, having down time.

Right now, all the spring Parks and Recs catalogs and library class catalogs and co op catalogs are coming out and I have to be careful not to over schedule my kids with all the "fun" stuff I find. And yet, I need to also make sure I don't let my introvert daughter hole up in her room just creating art and not taking part in the world.
So I gave them the catalogs and insist they choose one thing from one of the catalogs, and at least 3 classes for their co op.

When I wasn't working, we used to go a lot. We went on fieldtrips, we went to the museums, we went to the zoos, to playdates, etc. Now that I am working, and we cannot run all the time, my children are NOT deprived. In fact, they are happier than ever. They have more time to create, more time to just play. This lesson was an amazing one for me and one that I had been TRYING to do for a while, to stop all the running. But when you see all the really great things out there, you want to expose your kids to them.
On the other hand, if I am not careful, we could just hibernate our lives away and just stay home all the time, which is my nature really.
So I have started making sure we go on a fieldtrip a month and that the children have playdates every 2 or 3 weeks at the least and no more than 2 playdates a week so we make sure we get all our schoolwork in. Again, it is all in the balance of things. And when we go on fieldtrips, I make sure it is something special, not just running here or there. If the kids have no interest in something, they won't get much out of it. My oldest are 10 and 12 so they  know what they like and don't like. Giving them input, assures that they will co operate and enjoy themselves.

This month we are going to tour a nut and snack factory. The children will get to make their own cotton candy. And in two months from now we are going to go to a Glassblowers. And in between trips, we will laugh and play games, and snuggle and watch movies, and read great books, and do schoolwork, and more.
And the house will get cleaned eventually and we will eat healthy and in the summer grow our own veggies and get out and walk and hike and swim, and sleep out under the stars, and ....and try and stay balanced.

Which really is just a resting point while we are running from one extreme to the other LOL, but we can keep trying, right?

Living on a Budget

What an awful phrase..."Living on a Budget". It brings up images of scrounging, feelings of deprivation, going without, right?
WRONGO! For me, and for many I know, living on a budget, not just the vague idea of one, means freedom, security, and a future that is brighter than the past.
 

My best friend had come when I was at my most desperate and sat down with me and taught me how to draw up a budget.(she also brought Jane Austin Movies and alcohol LOL. She loves me!) We took our monthly income and subtracted our fixed expenses and then budgeted out for groceries, gas, entertainment, school, incidentals, and first and foremost, 10 % off the top for hard savings, our retirement. Being married to an artist and having been a stay at home mom for the last 5 years, we NEEDED a budget and NEEDED to learn how to save and spend responsibly. She suggested that I take this budgeted money out of the bank in cash and keep it in envelopes. Then I could SEE what we had to spend. And when the envelope was empty, then it was gone for the month. That might mean that we don't go anywhere non necessary due to the gas money being gone. Or that when the grocery money is gone, then we have to get creative with what we do have in the house. This worked...it really worked. It was hard at first. But you what? We didn't miss that 10 % and it has grown over the last year. I am amazed!

Another wise woman prayed with me in this time of high stress. It was when I was looking for a job and then she told me about a book called "The Richest Man in Babylon" She shared with me her own story of how she and her husband had fallen into a HUGE amount of debt and how someone told her about this book and how it helped her on a path to digging out of debt and never going back. So I read this book and what do you know...a lot of it made sense.

We prayed that something enjoyable would come along for me and low and behold, the next day, the principal of my daughters school told me about an opening in their Autistic Preschool that I could have if interested. I would be assisting the teacher. It was regular hours, I would be off in the summer, off for snow days, and home by the time my daughter got off her bus! It was perfect!

So here we are...one year after I was physically ill with stress and living on our budget. We are nearly out of debt, we live credit card free, and we live ON OUR BUDGET. I have gone back to work, my husband has taken on some new shows that allow him to demo and sell his artwork, and things are going well. We didn't go on vacation last summer, but we replaced our dying refrigerator, fixed some things that needed fixing, bought a new badminton set for the yard, and enjoyed our summer, even without any family trips.We also were able to pay off more debt. This year, we are heading to the beach. I budgeted for it and we will have the money this summer to enjoy ourselves.

I am about to reread The Richest Man in Babylon as we are ready to move on to the next steps and make our money work for us. We are sticking to our budget, the bills are being paid, we are still living credit card free, and we are NOT deprived, or lacking, or over stressed. I love what I now do for a living. I am still able to homeschool my children, and without all the super stress, my husband and I are able to laugh together and not just talk numbers and bills.

If anyone is having money issues, debt, or just need to budget, I strongly urge you to put it on paper, go get some envelopes, and first...read "The Richest Man in Babylon" by George S Clayson.

A Day in the Life (with a 6, 10, and 12 yr old and working part time)

So I have been reading alot of "A Day in the Life of...." blogs lately and have had a few people ask me personally, "How do you do it all?" So I thought I would post a typical day in our life, although, no day is typical...each day I try and add a zing, or rush, to it to keep things interesting!

But here goes....
6am the alarm goes off....and at 6 30 another goes off....and 10 minutes later I get out of bed.
Our youngest has a feeding tube and feeds through the night so I go and turn it off and unhook her and rub her back to try and wake her. Daddy will get her up and dressed and downstairs by 7 15.
Meanwhile I get myself ready for work and make my lunch.
7:25  it is time to brush the "baby's" hair and get her AFO's (leg braces) on and Daddy takes her out to wait for her bus to our local public school for children with severe special needs. Our youngest, who is 6, suffers from Mitochondrial disease of the brain cells, has seizures, is non verbal, non ambulatory, and is developmentally around 1 year of age. Here she gets her physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and a few others. I contemplated homeschooling her too, but we would have spent more time waiting to see therapists than being at home...and besides, she loves going to school and thrives there.
7:40 I get on the road so I am not late for work ...did I mention I work at my daughter's school? I do...as an instructional assistant in the autistic preschool program there. This means I get to peek in on her throughout the day and am on hand if she has any real issues like seizures, etc. I work Mon. thru Thurs.

8am Daddy wakes our 10 and 12 year old and they get up and complete their morning chores, get breakfast, and then have a chance to read or play (non electronics) until 10am. Chores include feeding pets, cleaning rabbit cage and litter box, emptying dishwasher, making beds, tidying rooms(if it didn't get done the night before)

10am-12:30 The children get started on the schedule list of work that I have left for them. Daily they cover Math, Grammar, History, Science, and Language Arts.  This typically means: 1 Math lesson with 10-15 problems, 1-2 pages in Grammar workbook, Reading a book or part of one pertaining to whatever we are learning in history, reading part of a biography dealing with someone we are covering in History, Reading their science chapter or doing a worksheet pertaining to the chapter, and writing of some sort for LA. We have things that we do once a week and rotate such as Time For Kids (reading the magazine and doing related worksheets), Picture and Paragraph (where the children illustrate and write a paragraph on a book they are reading for pleasure or on a field trip they have taken recently, etc), and Lives of Extraordinary Women (this homemade book is where they write a paragraph and illustrate one woman a week. We are currently working on WW II so they are reading biographies of Anne Frank, Queen Elizabeth, Eleanor Roosevelt, and various other women who hid and smuggled war victims out of Germany)

11:30 On my lunch hour I text the children hello and they respond with any questions they have concerning their assignments. Sometimes they text earlier but I don't always have a moment until my lunch to respond.

12:30-1 the children take a break to play
1-2pm the children make, eat, and clean up from lunch. If they are done before 2pm, they can play some more before finishing school.

2pm-3:30pm The children finish any schoolwork they have and do their extra chores. These vary from day to day but one day a week they dust, vacuum and clean their rooms, vacuum the other upstairs rooms, and scrub down one bathroom each.  The rest of the week they do things like gather the upstairs trash (the day before it gets picked up), wipe kitchen counters, sweep kitchen and dining room floors, put away their laundry, and when it is warm, clean up the yard of toys or sticks (if I am cutting the grass when I come home from work)

3:30 My day of preschool is over and I head home to my lovelies. The baby takes the bus home (she loves riding on it and often giggles the whole trip--this also allows me to run to the store if needed after work without hauling her and her wheel chair with me)

4:00pm Daddy gets the baby off the bus, I have a hug and snack with my three kiddos and I check emails and snail mail, pay bills, etc Once a week my son has piano lessons and during Cheer season, my daughter has cheer twice a week. Also the baby rides horses in Fall and Spring for 8 week sessions.

4:30pm Up in our schoolroom, I check the kids work and we make any corrections needed.

5pm I prep and make dinner for 6:30. Some nights we have a family movie, some nights we eat at our dining room table and share our day, etc We ALWAYS eat together and pray together before eating. We also try and spend family time for a bit every evening, including the baby in everything we do. She loves to wrestle with her brother and play with the cat and generally terrorize her big sister by getting into whatever she is doing LOL

After dinner, the big kids and I head back up to the schoolroom and we have a lesson, or study for end of the week quizzes in history or science, or we do an experiment. I then go over the next days schedule with them so they know exactly what is expected in their lessons, answer any questions they have, etc.

8:30 Daddy and/or I get the baby's meds all ready and one of us puts her to bed.(quite honestly, it is usually Daddy as I am still in the schoolroom with the big kids)

9pm I have the big kids get ready for bed and read (lately I have been reading aloud to the 10 year old. We are all working our way through the Mysterious Benedict Society books. Currently we are on book 2. I don't read fast enough for my 12 year old who prefers to read on her own).

10pm: lights out for the big kids. I take a hot bath sometimes but mostly I come down and snuggle on the couch with my husband and we stare at the TV for a few hours. I order books from the library, answer emails I didn't get to, make grocery lists and look to see who has what on sale, play on facebook, etc. I often fall asleep here and then it is ...

1am: head up and hook the baby up for her overnight tube feeding and fall into bed, happy and exhausted.

On Fridays I have off and try and do things with the big kids that are more difficult to do with the baby along. In the spring and fall we hike. We go on field trips, and we belong to a co op that meets for a 10 week fall and 10 week spring semester. There I teach Music and Movement to preschool aged homeschoolers and my children take fun classes like engineering, stop motion movie making, Italian Cooking, knitting, drama, etc. During co op semesters, I try and make our homeschool only 4 days a week, although sometimes I do a lesson or test on the weekends then.
Fridays I also start the laundry ( I like it done and folded by Sunday so the kids can take it up and put it away Monday morning. Then no one can say "where is my....?"  throughout the week. It was clean when we started! hehehe) I also make appointments, and make phone calls that I couldn't throughout the work week (like businesses that close by 4pm)

Most Fridays we go to the library. This could mean a full trip in or just a quick trip through the drive through. We have around 120 books, tapes, and DVDs out at a time throughout the year. Each week we return or pick up a pile. We have a rule though. Each child has a book box by their bed. The current book they are reading (or books) live there and only there. The school books live on ONE table in the schoolroom, and DVDs stay on the shelf with the DVD player at all times, until I pop them into the library bag. It may seem strict or OCD, but I don't like fines.

It is a busy life, but a fun life, a fulfilling life. I don't work in the summer and I try and give my kids off from mid May to the end of August. We spend our days at the lake, or visiting friends and family, camping, traveling, etc. We may not not be rich in money, we may sometimes feel harried with time, but we are blessed, we truly are!

New Semester, new ideas, new goals....

Okay, I posted at the beginning of the year and the first semester flew by. The kids did wonderful. We were part of two co ops, where they met a bunch of new friends. They both wrote novels! Tristan built catapults and cup towers and even a robot in his engineering class. Hannah learned to knit and jump double dutch. She and I strengthened our Mother Daughter bond and both children learned more about cooking.

So here we are in Semester 2...co op is going to start up in a week or so and we will see how it all plays out. Hannah and I are in a Drama production. We are putting on Monsters in the Closet this spring. Tristan is getting involved with robotics and riflery and engineering and all sorts of stuff. Tristan and I have been learning games like Fluxx and Munchkin and Phase 10 and have been playing everyday. Hannah saved for the year and finally got her reborn doll. She loves it and it LOOKS SO REAL.

We are currently in "hibernation" mode, where we stay put and buckle down and engross ourselves in school. Come spring time, when the south wind blows, we leave the schoolroom and hike and bike and...live outdoors. So since we are still in here soaking up all the knowledge we can find, I am going to introduce The Great Brain Project. Several friends have mentioned this to me and one friend says it works fairly well for her kids.So I reread all I could find on the subject tonight and now I am making notes and am going to introduce the idea to the kids tomorrow. They will have 1 week to come up with their project ideas, and then the learning begins. The kids will be required to read three books on their chosen subject, present their information in whatever medium they choose...art, photography, written report, maps, diorama, etc, whatever! If they choose something sciencey, we will use it in the science fair. If not, then so be it.
The kids will have until the end of March to present their projects

This is my salute to unschooling. Last year I tried to go all the way unschooling and it made me crazy, so instead of unschooling, I am just going to independent learning projects and The Great Brain Projects allow the child to become an "expert" in whatever subject they choose. So here we go!